Tuesday, February 4, 2014


Not the kind you get flat on your stomach at a chiropractor, like my friend Nikki assumed, but the kind of alignment where every step and thought in your day is put in motion through a purpose.  I search for alignment in outfit choices, hairstyles, home decor, and even in my food (i.e. this never-ending 30 Day Vegan Challenge).

In a constant state of self-improvement, I pine through Pinterest, articles from Oprah.com, and in the hundreds of blogs that I follow for the holy grail. In that never-ending search for a "better me," I seem to come up empty and with the same old me, just with clearer skin.

New shoes and a new bronzer (I am dying over Mac's Gold Deposit, fyi) are great temporary fixes, but soon I find myself at my desk or on the couch feeling unfulfilled. I took a couple of days off of work and threw some money down for a two night/three day stay at a hotel a few train stops from my house. I highly suggest this to anyone who, like me, is extravagant and self-absorbed.

Being alone gives me time to think. No distractions. No expectations. And only one question to answer: "What the FUCK am I doing with my life?"

Here are my answers, thus far:

1. Figuring shit out.
2. Taking selfies.
3. Eating more green stuff.
4. Growing my bangs out.

5. Getting my nails filled.
6. Reading articles.
7. Not following a writing schedule.
8. Helping babies.
9. Putting together a presentation for a national conference.
10. Fighting the patriarchy; one micro-aggression at a time.

What are you doing with your life?


  1. I feel the exact same way! I might try the hotel thing. I really envy people who know their purpose (even the crazy ones) because I have spent a lot of time and energy on mine and still have very few answers.

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  3. I'm mainly trying to figure shit out which is so exhausting at times but I assume it will look back on the nights i'm curled up in a ball going wtf and laugh, right?

  4. @DivaFeva Definitely do it. A little time alone and a little quiet time, helps. Also, I think it's important to realize that sometimes purposes come to us while we are just doing things.

    @Kenyetta You might not laugh, but you'll be thankful for the struggle. It makes you better.

  5. I was going to come to Boston and beg to meet you, but like you- I am self absorbed and extravagant and i have decided to go to London instead! - One of the things I hope to do is Travel this year- but I am not answering your question.
    Right now, with my life I am trying to make sense of freedom. I quit my regular corporate job to join a guy who going somewhere in the world of business and I have a front row seat beside him. He is my boss- no hibby jibbys. He just happens to be a very cool guy who gives me time to explore this new found freedom and create my own structure. This is a little difficult as it requires an enormous amount of discipline, more than any 26 year old has to exercise. Yeah, thats about it.

  6. So I guess at this point in time, I'm doing the same thing. Always reading or listening to people who are aware of self and the surrounding world. I'm always trying to be faster, stronger, braver, kinder, lighter and yet I still feel like I'm in the same spot, only I don't mind because I feel like I know more and even though I'm not in my 'ultimate state of living' LOL I wouldn't even know what it was if it came to pass because I'd only change what I'd want by then.....I'm being honest with myself, growing in my understanding of complex and amazing I am and I'm wondering where is my counterpart. I'm helping people and babies and I feel pretty full and happy. Just seems to never end but I like it. I look around and see so many people just roll out with the grind. Working and paying bills. I'll forever keep chasing ideas and a better me. Also getting ready to move to London soon. #shittingmypants