Sunday, January 19, 2014

Recipe: Vegan Girl





How to Make a (temporary)Vegan
1 cup of Impulsivity
1 cup of Too Many Documentaries on Netflix
3 tablespoons of Fear
A pinch of fandom for Jay Z and Beyonce 
1 teaspoon of some psychic wisdom

Stir them up and you've got a girl sitting on the porch of her rented vacation condo who makes the decision to go vegan. There really is no rational reason for someone to give up grilled cheeses and relish and mustard topped hot dogs when they don't have to. But I'll be honest, when I got my annual physical this past October, I was bracing myself for high blood pressure or early on-set diabetes. With a family history and my own personal love for cupcakes and caramel swirl in my Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I thought the lab results were going to have me searching for a coffin for an early death. 

I came away with a clean bill of health and I threw my hands to the gods. Fast forward a few months and a little investigation and I was ready to take on a new challenge. 


Impulsivity

Trying new shit is fun and entertaining. I'm not much for jumping off cliffs or moving halfway across the world, but trying a new lifestyle... is my thang. I'm only doing this for thirty days. I figure that is enough time to try it out, hate it, accept it, then move forward. 

Too Many Documentaries on Netflix

Chickens too fat to walk? Vegetables sprayed with something I can't pronounce to make them ripen? How do I avoid that? 

Fear

I still don't know what caused Victor's cancer. The doctors don't know. It was stomach cancer. Is it our air? Hair products? Cell phones? Food? Water? No one knows for sure. His death was horrible, depressing, and unbelievable. Yet, the idea that a relatively healthy 30 year old could be so sick is beyond terrifying. I don't think it's preventable and his sickness was not caused by something he did or didn't do, but something is killing us. Is it wrong to think that it might be the food?

Fandom

I dismissed Jay Z and Beyonce's 22 Day Vegan Challenge as some privilege laden activity, but what if it wasn't? What if the Illuminati had given them some secret knowledge about how to live forever? 


Psychic Wisdom

I visited a psychic in November who told me that I would meet my future husband at a farmer's market or somewhere with lots of produce. Ummm... veggies and a man? Sign me up. 




2 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha ha all very good reasons to go vegan. I'm always changing shit with my diet....I aim to be primarily vego....I'm just not ready to say goodbye to cheese yet....although I have read a lot of information that suggests the food that we eat and they way it is heavily produced to meet the supply demand (and then thrown out) is not good....in an ideal world we would all grow our own food....that way we know it's organic but until then I guess we can only just try to avoid those foods that are not good for us. When you mentioned the psychic I immediately thought of Practical Magic and you being Sandra Bullock. Hope you enjoyed your holidays xo Mele

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  2. jaja, this made me smile, the recipe in particular! The only reason I am predominantly vegan is because of health reasons, only none of the things you mentioned. One of the painkillers that the doctors had been prescribing me for years had essentially eroded the inside of my stomach and I find it really hard to digest a lot of things at the moment, but everyone does it for different reasons right? either that or the Illuminati have enlightened me! ;) x

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